A LESSON ON LEARNING & A REFLECTION ON AN "OPRAH" FEATURE

I've been meeting lately with a former colleague from the seminary, Tito Alcala. He's got a very successful design and ad services company and listening to him and his stories of how he grew his com pany, I picked up a lesson on what it means to be continually learning.

Tito goes around different countries picking up the latest technologies and trends in advertising. Then he goes ahead and tries to bring the technology in or adapt it to the local needs. He does not seem to be afraid of failing because even if a concept does not click he has learned and is ahead of everyone else in the learning curve!

That's an insight I'm going to apply...never fear failure because you learn something from it.

I watched Oprah yesterday and she featured women who were once successful and confident but "let go",i.e., gave up on life somehow and started looking and feeling miserable! All of them went from gorgeous to fat and looking at them now, I just couldn't help but feel pity for them.

Their reasons for "giving up" were varied (some even gave up because they had to raise their kids and family first)...but common to all was they somehow lost their self-esteem and with it their drive for life.

Another example of how mindset and attitude can change and turn one from being a winner to a loser.

THE ORIGIN 0F THANKSGIVING CELEBRATIONS & COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

I read from Early To Rise an account of Benjamin Franklin on how the whole idea of Thanksgiving got started. In a nutshell,the Pilgrims once made it a habit of fasting during Thanksgiving,but this usually got them in a depressing mood. So one of their members who had a lot of common sense suggested they celebrate instead of fast! That got everyone in a better frame of mind so the practice of celebrating stuck. I guess they took it a lot of their depression on the turkeys!

The article recommended that we count our blessings so I thought I'd list mine:

1. I'm alive & so far God has blessed me with good health
2. I'm loved by my wife & kids
3. I've got the proverbial roof over my head,clothes on my back & food to eat
4. I've got a job.
5. I've got friends.
6. I've got dreams I want to fulfill.
7. There are things that get me excited like the prospect of new business & earning more.
8. I have been blessed with talents.
9. I've got money in the bank,
10. The kids are in school & they are doing relatively well.
11. I have accomplished some things in my list of things to do in my lifetime.
12. I've managed to reconnect with people in my past.
13. I know I've influenced certain things/events & have mde a difference & contribution to society.
14. I have become a better person than what I was before.
15, I am at peace with myself.
16. I am hopeful and am looking forward to more exciting opportunities in life (dreams of travel. making more money, being happy)
17. I am able to laugh at myself.
18. My brain's working fine.
19. I still look & feel good for a man of fifty!
20. I still have good sex!
21. I don't worry much about much nowadays!
22. I am able to appreciate the little gifts I receive in life & thank God for them.

LEARNING THE MAGIC QUESTION

I read a piece from "Early To Rise" about a guy who admitted that 14 years ago he was at his lowest point but made a breakthrough by learning what he calls the magic question:"What's the Worst Thing That Could Happen If I did this?"

By asking the question he got rid of his own psychological barriers that prevented him from realizing his dreams (one of which was to be a ballroom instructor.) Once the barriers were out of the way the living of the dreams was easier.

I realized this (being afraid of failing) was what has been holding me back about some of the unfulfilled dreams I've had like: my hit song...my million peso business...vacation trips.

Maybe I ought to un-block myself more so I can get more out of life!

MY ORIGAMI LEGACY

Last night, my daughter Tasha chanced upon an old book of mine on Origami while she was looking for some colored paper. She started working on one of the models (the jumping frog) but was stumped when she was folding the frog base. I helped her out a bit then after some time she showed me the finished product.

She didn't realize that it could be inflated until I showed her so. Since she had used paper that wasn't really for folding, the frog didn't jump as expected. So she made another one,this time using better quality paper and voila, she had a jumping frog.

Seeing her taking interest in something I used to do made me really feel wonderful inside.

This is one of the small rewards I get from being a parent!

IS LIFE ALL ABOUT BURSTING WITH ENERGY OR BEING AT PEACE?

Just had one of those profound thoughts while "meditating" in the john during my morning ritual. I visited my parents' graves yesterday and thought to myself that is this what beign brought into the world is all about? To finally just rest in peace?

As far as I can recall, my life (& everyone's life for that matter) has been about bursting with energy...movement...action...in getting the thrills & adrenaline rush...that is why we say one is alive!!! He moves...he breathes...he lives!!!

And yet I know there were moments in my life when I was just still...and felt most alive!!! These were during moments of prayer...of deep calm...of just sitting watching the sun set or taking in the majestic view of Nature...or just observing my kids or my wife while they were asleep.

I guess that's why they say there are always two sides to everything...for life is both about living as well as dying.

TIME TO STOP DREAMING & START DOING

My former College buddy,Jimmy Enriquez, sent a congratulatory message to all his downlines in the Amway business who had made it to the 3% to the Top Gun Category. Most were from Chowking and most had entered this business later than I did. Yet they've gone ahead to where I never even reached. So what made the difference?

They worked more than they dreamed...and instead of figuring out the obstacles they just went ahead and showed the plan or sold the products.

I, on the other hand, found excuses why I couldn't do it! The irony is that most of these people are from Operations...have 9-5 jobs while I'm supposed to have a freer schedule to grow my business.

So the moral lesson is: Stop figuring out & wishing...and start getting my nose to the grindstone!

But inwardly I really feel happy for Jimmy...he deserves to be rewarded for his hard work...now he's living his dream!

CREATING YOUR OWN FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH

I just read an article by Miniong Ordonez, one of the pillars of Philippine Advertising and Chairman of Publicis, an advertising group. He's 69 years old but when you see him in person he really does not look it.

He attributes this to attitude. He remarked that as one ages one must take pride in aging, but also do something to maintain one's zest for life. For him one of his latest sources of youthful attitude is a Suzuki Motorbike. It makes him feel like the rebellious Marlon Brando when he's on it!

His message is clear... if we just settle for being sedentary when we grow old then we really age.

There is a fountain of youth but it is within us!

DREAMING AND DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE

Our CEO has been exhorting us to aim for "no unhappy customers." I can understand the skeptical looks on the faces of our managers whenever he says we should do this...after all, this seems to be an impossible goal to achieve.

But what I like about it is that it's something worth going for. I'm sure that if we just get close to achieveing it we will not only have set a benchmark for our sister companies..we will have improved ourselves along the way.

Who would think that Jollibee would beat McDonald's at it's own game? It seemed impossible then...but if one convinces many to believe it can be done...it happens.

MINDSET: THE BIG DIFFERENCE

I watched the second part of National Geographic's INSIDE 9/11 last night, and although I couldn't help think it was US propaganda versus Al Qaida (after all the story was being told from an American's point of view,) still I believed it was wrong to take away lives indiscriminately, whether for revenge or whether in the name of Allah. ( So I would also not approve of the Crusades or the Spanish Inquisition for that matter.)

The episode ended with a striking parallel between the US mindset and the mujaheddin's, and it somehow explained why they weren't afraid of blowing themselves up (and others with them.) There was a shot of Osama Bin Laden making his way up a hill with another Al Qaida member. Tha narrator said that against the background of US artillery bombings, Osama Bin Laden was supposed to have quoted that:"We (the Al Qaida) love death. The US love life. There lies the big difference."

Some of the so-called "expert" commentators interviewed remarked that the success of 9/11 galvanized the Muslim extremists to carry on their jihad not only against the US but against the world. The movement would continue even if Osama were captured or killed because as they showed from footages of bombings in Spain and London, the movement has already spread worldwide.

THE TREMENDOUS POWER OF FAITH

I watched a documentary the other night on the inside story of 9/11. It revealed that as early as 8 years before the attack on the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, there were already indicators that radical Muslims were already plotting something against the USA in the belief that they were launching a jihad against the devil.

What really struck me was what the power of commitment to a cause or even one's faith could do. The men who carried out their suicidal mission believed they were doing something right and were willing to give up their lives for it. Except for one, the three others who flew the planes to their destruction went to the extent of learning how to fly planes. They found ways to get things done in spite of difficulties it involved and the danger of getting caught.

Because of commitment they got it done!

Another documentary I saw this time featured how the early Christians, by their faith in Jesus and his teaching on loving even those who persecute you,eventually shut down the Colosseum, the center of gladiatorial fights and Christian executions.

The story goes that because of the admirable faith the Christians had in rising again with Christ, the Emperor converted and did away with the games.

GIVING HAS ITS OWN REWARDS

Read from Late Lifer's blog about how he's been mentoring a 29 year old guy named Marcos set up his business and how it's taken off. Prescott revealed how he felt fulfilled about this experience and suggested to late lifers like him to engage themselves in mentoring.

I was rather inspired by this and resurrected the thought of teaching in College when the opportunity presents itself...or maybe I ought to start pursuing it. But I know what Prescott meant when he said he felt a sense of gratification. Seeing his mentee succeed most likely gave him a strong sense of usefulness at his age!

WHAT A WASTE OF PRECIOUS LIFE!

I heard over the radio this morning that a woman suicide bomber in Iraq blew herself up killing 6 other people and wounding many others.

I asked myself,what would really drive people to take their own precious lives and take others' lives with them?

Here I realized once again how one's mindset and beliefs affects one's behaviors. These suicide bombers may have reached a point where their ideology or programming may have led them to believe that the act of killing themselves and others,whether guilty or innocent,is justified.

There must have been a compelling reason why that woman may have done what she believed to be right, at the cost of her own life, but no matter how I look at it...it's a waste of precious life, and morally wrong.

If this act had been inspired by so-called religious teaching or by a tenet of faith,then that religion or doctrine must be misguided.

CREATIVITY TRIPPING

I've taken a renewed interest in drawing comics because of the project I'm working on for the 34th anniversary of my San Beda batchmates. The souvenir program which I'm supposed to do should look like a comic book, so I've been browsing through websites featuring Marvel Comic book covers which I still consider the best,(especially those done by my idol Jack Kirby,) hoping to get some inspiration from these masterpieces of cover art.

It seems this effort has had a pleasant side -effect! I found myself thinking up and doodling cover options and content for the program. I've also been daydreaming a lot of fantasy stories (the adult comedy and horror-fantasy type) which I've sketched on paper.

Yesterday, while walking along SM Megamall I found myself looking at people and concocting in my mind, stories of what could possible be going through their heads based on the expressions on their faces. For instance, I imagined that one guy who had a worried look on his face may have been late for an appointment...with a client?with a lover? One housewife-looking type must be thinking about where she was going to get money for expenses of her kids.

This went on as I passed by people. Made me realize there really is a wealth of stories around if you can just imagine them.

As a result of that creative trip I came up with story ideas. One which hit me while I was passing the video game center was about two teens who get sucked up in the video game they're playing and find themselves actually shooting live bullets at the enemy. Another (adult fantasy story) idea was about two sweethearts who snuck up in the moviehouse and have sex there not realizing they are being videotaped.They find their fotos at the marquee the following week as the double-feature.

When I returned to the office I hit on another idea: a designer of Magic cards falls asleep and his faerie creations walk out of his laptop. He has some wild hanky-panky with the faerie until she turns him into a creature that appears in the next Magic card edition.

Maybe I can make some money out of this...but just the exhiliration from the brief creative journey was a reward by itself.

REFLECTIONS ON A PICKLE JAR

I got one of those inspirational emails yesterday entitled: The Pickle Jar, which tells the story of how the writer's father took care of his future by saving small change which he placed inside a pickle jar. When he was put through college,the pickle jar which served its purpose disappeared from its usual place. The writer eventually got married and had a daughter,and one day at his parent's home he found the pickle jar back where it was,filled with coins.

It was his turn now to start filling it up.

Although we never had a pickle jar, I knew that Dad took it upon himself to provide for the future of all of us,his seven kids, the best way that he could. With his meager Army man's salary it is a wonder he achieved what he did.Well, of course, with a lot of help from Mom who budgetted the money.

We were never poor,nor were we deprived of the occasional luxuries in life either. But I know now that both Dad and Mom must have sacrificed a lot themselves, denied themselves of some luxury they would have wished so they would have the money to ensure our education, and with it, our future.

I don't really envy those who have the money so much so that they can travel to other countries frequently. Actually, I have the money! But I guess compared to ensuring my kids future, the luxury of travelling and vacationing takes the back seat.

Am I a less fulfilled man because of having denied myself these experiences? I don't think so.

As a wise woman told me once upon a time:"If it is God's will...it will happen."

There will be a time and a place for indulging in dreams and fantasies...but for now,it's time to fill up the pickle jar.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

* I read an article by former NEDA head Cielito Habito that most of our country's trillion peso budget (about 70% of it ) will go to so-called debt servicing. What's frustrating to know is that we will be paying for past government investments (e.g. the Bataan Nuclear Plant) that we never benefitted from!

* In my desire to get going with the cover design of the San Beda Reunion Souvenir Program,I've been reading stuff on how to draw comics,1 point and 2 point perspective and have started doodling and sketching again. Nothing like an ambitious goal to keep the adrenaline going and keep my day interesting. I've always realized the power of a vision, and it's the visualization of the completed project that's getting me pumped up! Fresh ideas for sitcomics just keep popping up!

* Last Saturday I finally met with Jack Dumaup, an ex-Juvenist, who is now active in the Youth Ministry of a born-again church. I admired his conviction and his zeal in sharing his experience of being born again. Now if only our priests could be that converted and zealous the Catholic church here would be a bit more alive!

REALIZING MY POTENTIAL

This morning I had a talk with a group belonging to SC Innova Holdings, a family-owned corporation with various businesses. They were looking for a consultant who would help them out with their growth and expansion concerns particularly in the area of training and development. While they were sharing (particularly Vic,who turned out to be one of the owners) I gave in my two cents worth of observations which must have impressed on Vic that I knew what I was talking about.

Towards the end of the meeting he said that if only I was available they'd like to hire me even on a trial basis.

It was a feel good moment for me and just affirmed that my experience in Jollibee does amount to something.

Anyway, if it was meant for me I know we will cross paths again in the future.

IS THIS THE LITTLE GIRL I CARRIED?

Today is Tasha's thirteenth birthday.

I gave her the traditional birthday spanking (13 whacks on the butt and 1 more for good measure) while she was just stirring after I woke her up and greeted her a Happy Birthday.

During my quiet time in the morning, I said a prayer for her and spent a bit of time reminiscing and realizing that time really has passed by quickly. I couldn't imagine that thirteen years have passed since that September morining when Ate Per entered the room in Cardinal Santos hospital and told me that Tash had been born and was doing OK.

Tash was inside the incubator when I first saw her. She was like a little princess sleeping under the drop light.

As if in a movie flashback I recalled how cute she was when she was a baby, and now how she has grown to be a pretty yet feisty teenage girl.

With the song:"Butterfly Kisses" playing at the back of my mind,I can't help but thank God,He gifted me with my little girl Tash.

SOME MORE LESSONS FROM LATE LIFER

I read another posting from Late Lifer and it got me thinking about setting up more family rituals.

He shared that he and his wife had activities like: date night,cocktails, sharing of stories from each other's day and reading of articles from newspapers.

I remember that before we moved to Paranaque, Jaja and I had started a Thursday night with the kids. We would go out to Brother's Burgers or order a pizza and have a late night snack with the kids. It was fun and memorable.

Now that they're growing up fast and aren't with us that often perhaps we ought to create more opportunities that we can be together.

THE SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE

Donabel,a former colleague at Jollibee, sent an email entitled:Cashing In,Opting Out. It was about former executives who decided to "retire" early from the rat race and get a life.

The common theme was that these people realized there was more to life than career,success and money. Family was important and most gave up lucrative jobs to be with the kids (the people who mattered.) One father used to have someone do the mowing of the lawn, but now he had fun doing it with the kids!

They also realized that their skills were still useful to other people and though they did not make as much money as before,they got a lot of fulfillment.

I recall the lyrics of John Denver's song: "Thank God I'm A country Boy!"

Well the simple kind of life never did me no harm
Of raisin me a family and working on the farm
My days are all filled with a simple kind of charm
Thank God I'm a Country boy

I wouldn't trade my life for diamonds and jewels
I never was one of them money-hungry fools
I'd rather have my fiddle, and my farm and tools
Thank God I'm a Country boy!

A REFLECTION: HUMAN BEING?HUMAN DOING?HUMAN BECOMING OR BEING/BECOMING HUMAN?

I've just had an activity-filled schedule these past two days.

Last Monday,I facilitated a strategic planning session with one of our Chowking stores that needed to turnaround, and yesterday I attended the Grand opening of our Pacific Star branch and attended FSC awarding ceremonies.

When I got home after each of these events I felt tired so I did some basic Yoga exercises to put myself at ease and help me relax.

This is my reflection:

I felt fulfilled I was able to put some hope in the members of the store that needed turning around. The franchisee was fired up about fighting it out in the market and if her spunk is an indicator,I'm optimistic they will succeed. After the session, I felt I had lived up to my title of "consultant."

My day was full yesterday with all the activities I had lined up. I also had a feeling of accomplishment though all I did was show up and give an inspirational talk or two.

But when I was also "doing" my Yoga exercises and feeling good from the stretching & relaxing, I also felt this was what living was all about. Life is also about just being still...we don't have to be doing something all the time!

My realization:

To be fully human...I have to do something.(There are talents,capabilities that were "gifted" to me...to be used for the service of my fellowmen)

To be fully human...I have to become the person I'm supposed to be.

To be fully human...I sometimes just have to stop and be still, and let life take its course.

YOU CAN'T CRASH COURSE GOLF

Yesterday I played golf with ex-seminary buddies at the Navy Golf Club. Since I hadn't played golf much less touched a club for over 3 years, I decided to hit some balls on the driving range before we teed off.

As expected I felt like a beginner on my first few shots but once I got my timing and rhythm I was starting to strike some balls cleanly. But it was what happened after practice that shocked me.

I started feeling aches and pains all over my body... my back ached,my arms ached, my legs felt like they were undergoing a cramps attack. It was as if there were muscles in my body that were awakened from their deep slumber and were now in a state of shock!

So going into our golf game I was already handicapped physically. To compound it all, I was starting to get a lot of exercise hitting balls from under trees, from the rough, from the sand so both my mind and body were getting tired though my spirit was still there. As I told my golfing partners, my mind was giving instructions on how to swing at the ball but my body just didn't seem to obey the instructions.

Lucky for me, my pitching around the greens and putting were OK, so I saved several strokes. Then after about 9 holes my game got going until about four or five holes. I drove the ball long, I picked the ball clean and did everything right until I got tired again!

So the moral lesson: Golf is a game that depends on muscle memory. If the muscles have los their memory...don't think you can shock them into remembering by subjecting them to a crash course...because in the end that's what you'll get... a crash! :-)

O YE OF LITTLE FAITH

James had been battling with fever yesterday and because of the ongoing dengue scare I couldn't help be concerned that he just might have gotten it!

When I checked his temperature this morning (I put my hand on his brow and felt his body) it was still a bit hot so I decided it would be better to bring him to the hospital and have him checked. At least if we knew he had it then we knew what we had to do.

In spite of my resolve though I could not help but feel worried so I prayed that James get well and hopefully did not have dengue. I was confident he had an edge because of his constitution but still it was better I play it safe.

It was a real struggle to be positive about the situation but somehow I managed to see this as a test of faith. I found out that if I let go fo my worries it was easier to trust God to do His job.

Fortunately, my doctor brother-in-law was around and when he took a look at James he said it was the flu. He prescribed some meds and said he'd check up on James later since he would be home during the day.

TOO MUCH FOCUS ON WHAT'S GOING WRONG THAN ON WHAT'S GOING RIGHT

This is in keeping with my effort to look at the bright side of life and develping a thankful attitude...

Last night, I read a piece on National writer F. Sionil Jose (dad of one of our ex-Juvenists, Eddie Boy Jose.) He said that he hopes for a revolution so that the Philippines can have the much needed change it needs. All our leaders up to now (with the exception of Magsaysay it seems) have just been looking after their own needs and maintaining the oligarchy at the expense of the poor.

Somehow my thoughts started turning towards negative scenarios... what if nothing really good came out of all the mess that's happening in the country today? I realized after this futile exercise in useless worrying that we live in a world where the focus is on what's going wrong,rather than what's going right.

I just read an article about self-proclaimed virgins in Hollywood and how these people are regarded as an oddity...and so are looked at with interest much like a specimen in a lab!

What if the media focused more on what's going right with the world?

What if the news was equated with "things that are going right?"

Maybe newspapers would not sell...but we would probably have a world with a better, more positive mindset.

THE SIMPLE JOYS OF LIFE

I watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with my wife and kids yesterday. It was a delightful movie. I particularly liked the song intermissions by the Looba-loobas each time one of the obnoxious kids got eliminated through their own doing.

Then this morning, for the first time in so many weeks the sun was shining brightly and rain clouds were nowhere in sight.

I almost missed enjoying these simple gifts of life because my mind was wandering about...thinking of what I was supposed to do today, and the "busy stuff" I was supposed to attend to.

We don't really need to look very far to find happiness...it's all around us if only we look with a different eye!

August 15 is a significant day because this was the day ( 6 years ago) that I left Jollibee and found a life! :-)

THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON MY PAINTING & A REFLECTION ON FATHERING

I'm almost done with the pastel painting of the Madonna and Child (Theotokos Ikon) that I started about a month ago.As in past projects, I find myself instinctively slowing down at the last stages because once I'm done with a project I'll have nothing to do again.

I noticed too that when I do my paintings I don't really follow any rules as to what will make the painting look great. It's as if my hands and eyes (and experience) take over and tell my brain which color to apply and how light or dark a tone must be for a specific area.

And because I'm working too close to the painting most of the time I do not see the overall effect of the detailing I do until I step back and see the painting as a whole.

I'm going to post a photo of my masterpiece soon as I'm done. Right now it's looking just great, if I may say so.

This morning I caught a feature in Discovery channel where the male species was being talked about. The portion I saw talked about how fathers spent time with their sons watching sports (football/baseball) as a means of bonding. Also, it sort of taught the sons what being masculine was all about.

It just struck me that I have not really taken my sons out to watch ball games or sports competitions. Most of my bonding has been watching movies, malling,browsing thru bookstores,jamming with them and even having a cookfest with them. But, that (hopefully) does not mean I'm not being a good male role model.

Maybe, I ought to check.Hmmmm.

LESSONS FROM A LATE LIFER

I chanced upon a blog on MSN Spaces entitled Late Life Crisis in which Prescott, an 83 year old blogger shares his experience as a "late lifer." His basic thought is that the so-called mid-life crisis is nothing compared to what he's experiencing late in life.

I read through some of his entries and it just struck me that there were lessons to be learned from what he shared. One clear lesson was that if I still want to be around for the long haul,I have to train myself or maybe program myself to be active mentally and physically when I'm old and grey.

So I thought to myself, maybe I ought to keep up with my weightlifting program,Yoga exercises,guitar playing, gardening, painting and papercraft as a way of maintaining my mental health. And maybe too,keeping my outlook young (and my sex drive in high gear!) ought to tide me over I'm in my 90's! :-)

INTO YOGA

Jaja and I tried out Yoga last night. We had bought this video on Yoga last Saturday and we thought we'd finally try out the exercises.

Overall, the experience was relaxing. We only did the Beginner's course and after about three standing poses we were sweating! While I was doing the Triangle pose and the Forward Bends I could feel some bones on my spine and shoulders "creaking," as if they were being stretched for the first time.

To top it all, I had a good, restful sleep last night.

Since Yoga promises benefits to all facets of one's life including one's sexual prowess,I'm curious to see if it really does work. So far, I've had a good start!

HOW TIME FLIES!

Yesterday, we brought our second son James to UP for his UPCAT exams. We underestimated the traffic so even though we were just outside the walls of the campus by 6 AM,we were crawling at snail's pace we feared James would not make it on time.

We decided that he and Jaja should walk to the exam venue, and it was good we did, because it took me another thirty minutes just to get inside!

Later, Jaja and I had breakfast at Craving's in Katipunan and while we were eating, we got to reminiscing about how it seemed like only yesterday when I was bringing James to nursery school at the Center for Talent and Education Center (CTEC) at Greenhills. I recalled how he was all smiles and didn't seem scared about being left alone with his teachers. I also recounted how behaved he was when I left him in class during his first day at Lourdes School.

Soon he would be in College (assuming he does pass his entrance tests,) and pretty soon, Tasha, our youngest will be going through the same rites of transition.

I can't but help recall the words from the "Fiddler On the Roof" song which goes:

Sunrise, Sunset
Sunrise, Sunset
Swiftly fly the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

So far so good...when I look at how our kids have blossomed, I can say we've not done too bad as parents.

I wonder how it will be when we're grandparents! Only time will tell. :-)

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR

Yesterday I pulled out our car from the repair shop and paid a total of P 19,400.00 for major repairs to problems which were not supposed to be there in the first place.

I brought the car in last Wednesday because it was overheating. I suspected there was a leak somewhere because I had just filled up the reservoir with coolant last Sunday,but that morning when the car overheated and I checked under the hood, the reservoir was empty! Then when I was finally able to open the radiator there was no water visible, and I had to fill it up with about two liters of water.

When the mechanics checked,they said the water pump needed replacement. (P 3,900) After a little while,they called up again and said they needed to replace some bearings because it was making a humming sound.(P3,600) Then much later, the supervisor informed me they discovered another major problem: the CV joints needed replacement and it was for our safety that this had to be done (P 5,000)

This was one of those unexpected expenses, and it couldn't have come at a very bad time. I was saving up money because I have to pay over P34,000 worth of taxes this August!

It was difficult looking for something to be thankful for under the circumstances. But I found out that if you really want to think positive...you'll be able to find something good even in a bad situation.

My positive thought was this: "I should still be thankful the problems of the car were found out. What if I had met an accident because the repairs hadn't been done. I would probably been in a worse way, and our expenses would have been much bigger than P 19,400."

With that thought in mind I was able to bounce back from the initially frustrating situation and enjoy the rest of the day dating my wife!

THE THRILL OF SMALL DAILY VICTORIES

In keeping with my goal of improving myself a little each day,last night I finally finished the automata (mechanical paper model) of the "Agreeable Sheep," which I had printed last week on cardboard but never got to work on.

Tasha, who was watching me cutting out the cardboard parts and assembling the model, waited till about past ten to see me complete the project. At one point she even volunteered to help me glue the tiny parts when she saw me struggling a bit. ("Do you need a smaller finger?")

"How cute!" Tasha exclaimed when she saw me turn the handcrank that made the sheep's head bob up and down.

Now that I have assembled my first automata, I feel like moving on to more complex models. And since I now know how these things work basically and I also believe I can start designing my own simple models.

What a big difference a small accomplishment makes!

JUST SOME THOUGHTS ON GETTING THRU THE "AVERAGE" DAY

I've been checking out this blog"Girl In Progress,"and Christa (the girl in progress) who's been writing about how she's getting over a recent divorce, wrote the other day that she's just in the average groove and really had nothing exciting to write about.

For most of us mere mortals, I guess that's just the way things are. We don't go through life everyday as if we were in an action movie,romantic drama or suspense thriller flick. Most of the time, it's just an ordinary day of going through the daily grind. Nothing much to get real excited about...or blog about!

But this is where our challenge lies. How to make the ordinary day extraordinary!

It can be done by doing the daily routine a little bit better or a little bit more perfectly. Or we can do things a little bit differently and creatively.

The excitement need not be forced upon us by circumstances outside of us.

We have the power within us to create the excitement!

OF CHAOS AND CREATION

I was finally able to finish the caricature of a former Bedan batchmate of mine,and sent the illustration to him last night. It just felt good getting something done!

The only problem with completing projects like these is that I'm now "idle" again and looking for something to do... to get creative again!

Hmmmm...That's probably what God must feel whenever He gets something created...He probably starts feeling the urge to get chaotic so that He can once again put order.

The story of our life...the story of the universe.

THE SPEED OF THOUGHT

It's amazing how much the mind can wander when it does not really have anything particularly planned to think about.

When I look back at how my mind wandered about this morning I realize that there were a lot of thoughts that crossed my mind that were in no way interconnected with one another!

While at breakfast I thought about how lazy our maids were at not telling me we were about to run out of coffee creamer when I had given them prior instructions to alert me whenever this happens. I even had an argument running thru my mind like:

MAID: Sorry kuya hindi namin napansin na wala ng creamer eh.
ME: Ano'ng hindi napansin eh gumagamit din kayo ng creamer!

All of a sudden my mind switched to the thought of seeing the morning sunrise creeping in and how beautiful this sight was. But when Jaja sat at the breakfast table my mind shifted to the thought of reminding her I hadn't had my dose of sex for the week yet!

On the way to the toilet to do my morning "dumping" ritual my mind went from reminding myself to give money to the driver for gas, to a realization that I could improve the video script on Integrity by adding some specific references to cash handling, product handling and stocks/inventory management. All of these in the space of several seconds.

While driving to work, there were some thoughts that crossed my mind but since I was intent on listening to the radio and singing along I realized my mind had kept focused on me singing the right lyrics. No wonder I'm so alert while driving!

MAKING THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION

The Service Quality Program didn't turn out as I expected it. There was a basic program design flaw and the trainers didn't do a dry-run so all the possible surprises turned up. Classic was when we were supposed to video the role play and Brian our designated videographer ran out of CD space!

"I should've insisted on seeing the design...I should've insisted on a dry-run..." I was telling myself a lot of "should'ves" but that wasn't helping any. So this was a case of just getting the show over and done with and re-doing the whole script so to speak so tomorrow's show would be better.

Moral Lesson: I'll trust my instincts more next time and go with experience.

A PRAYER A DAY TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER

Lately,my thoughts have been turning towards making the world a little bit better each day in my own little way. I like that line in the movie (I forgot the title) which starred Kevin Spacey in which he said of his wife: "She wanted to leave the world a little bit better than when she came in." (or something like that) I'd like that to be said of me.

So whether it is through making someone smile or laugh, or making someone's day better through a shared thought...I know I'm making a difference somehow.

And I realize that even if only one of the prayers I'm sending to God each morning for the people I'm praying for gets answered...then that's going to make a big difference somehow in the end.

A PRODUCTIVE WEEKEND

In line with my "improve -myself-a-day" project I worked on some projects over the weekend,taking advantage of the extra day holiday yesterday.

For one, the Theotokos ikon I set aside for the past month is now taking shape. I finished coloring up to the Virgin Mary's robe and from TJ's comment ("Dad! You rock!")I must say it's looking real good. Funny but while I was doing this pastel painting which I intend to hang along our stairwell, I found myself humming the Latin "Credo," and "Salve Regina."

I was able to download and print the plans for the automata paper models and hope to start assembling them this week.

I learned a new song: "The Greatest Story Ever Told," by Oliver James,which I can now add to my repertoire of "pang-bagets" songs.

IF HE'D ONLY SAY "I'M SORRY" ( A REFLECTION ON MAN'S FOLLY & GOD'S GREATNESS)

Two of my neighbors have gone to court because of an argument over parking space!

One of the parties is really willing to drop charges if the other guy would only apologize to his wife for his un-gentlemanly treatment of her. But, no, out of pride he refuses to say the magic words: "I'm sorry" or "I apologize."

Forgiveness would easily solve the problem which is costing all of them money and a lot of aggravation.

That's probably why God Himself had to come down literally to our level and show us that's not the way to do things. He must have realized that by giving man free will, he also gave man the potential to feel like he was a god,who believed he knew right and wrong, and should not stoop down whatsoever to his fellowman.

Humility...and asking for forgiveness are apparently the ways of God...but not the ways of men.

BUTTERFLIES IN MY GARDEN

The daisy seedlings I had planted weeks ago were ready to be placed in pots so I did that this morning. As I stood up from my work I noticed several butterflies flitting about the flower pots in front of my garage. It was a refreshing sight to behold because nowadays it's hard to see butterflies around the city.

So I had this thought. My contribution to improving the environment around Millbrae is to see to it that butterflies have a haven in my garden.

LESSONS FROM "UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN"

Watched "Under The Tuscan Sun" a TV movie starring Diane Lane. Picked up some lines worth thinking about:

"They built the railroad tracks that crossed the Alps even when there was still no train. They just knew it would be there one day."

(Federico Fellini said) "Never dwell on regrets..they are just the past getting in the way of today." (or something like that) This told me to let go of yesterday's incident with the Integrity video, which I had been "I should've-ing" yesterday.

These were just reminders to me to attack life with vigor and instead of just musing...get going on projects I listed in my Goals list: the songs I have not written yet ("Gusto Kitang Awitan ng Luman Love song" & "Gusto Kong Mag-Jollibee" which I envision James and his band to sing); the paper sculptures which will be my special niche in business; the painting of the Theotokos & the mural of the Creation for the Master's bedroom wall;the USA trip with my family...

I also got an idea from seeing all these artists' weblogs on the net that I'd start my own "A Drawing A Day" which will be my excuse for doing doodles & posting them on the net.

MY "AHA!" FOR THE DAY: A TAKE ON THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Just think...by becoming a better person each day, I am making the world a little bit better too!

JUST SOME THOUGHTS

More and more I've come to realize that the world was given to us by God...not to be devastated and destroyed...but to be appreciated and enjoyed.

Even if I don't have a job...and all I do is pray for the good of my fellowman...then my life has a purpose

HIGHLIGHTS OF MY WEEK: JUNE 20 -26

June 26 - Watched Beauty and the Beast musical at the Meralco Theater with the whole family. Starred KC Concepcion who was pretty good though lacked a powerful voice to reach the high notes. The Beast was disappointing, lacked power. Gaston was a bit better. I had seen the Broadway version so everything else pales in comparison unfortunately.

June 25 -JAMES' 17th birthday. He and TJ were in Las Villas since they had a sleepover at Esan Javahey's after a night of computer gaming at Blue Skies. Jaja was sick so I brought Tash to the gym then went to Richmonde to do my light lower body workout. I bought cake, salmon,pasta and foodstuff for James' party this evening. I ended up cooking it too. I prepared Aglio Olio. We had a lot of food but few guests since Greenhills and Villas folks couldn't make it. Kuya Zen, Ate Per and Jerome also left for Munich this evening, so we only had Louie and Iris Doria, Vika,Aleks and Ayana as James' guests.

June 24 - Jaja took the day off to be with her Basa airbase barkada. They went to Sonia's garden and Ilog Maria. We had a mini-product board this morning and I was stuffed with new product samples (veggie siopao, roasted chix asado, chicken supreme, pancit etc.) I attended the graduation of Batch 127 then went to the gym before fetching Tash and Jaja at Gymnastica

June 23 - RDRs and Jem's birthday. I wished Mavie goodluck on her Excom presentation because I knew she would be uptight about it...which in fact she was. I went to Greenhills to sign the documents needed for my dollar investment. I went through the tiangge and bought some gardening stuff at the Do It Yourself shop. Ate lunch at Max's to try out their pancit canton which was lousy! I fetched Tash early and we went to Robinson's Galeria where we were to meet up with Jaja and james. Ja bought a new Whirlpool 7.5 kg washing machine on credit for 10K.

June 22 - ISAH TORRALBA s birthday. We held the birthday bash for RDR this morning since he was going to have an Excom meeting tomorrow, his real birthday. In spite of the short preparation, things tirned out well. Padz and Jeric did a great job hosting the program. Vhing invited me out to lunch at Salsa Rossa and we talked about Ever's pending annulment case.

June 21 - Had a product work group meeting this morning. I double checked the preparations for RDRs birthday tomorrow. At least, Jeric and Edward had practised their song.

June 20 - I re applied for my AMWAY membership c/o Jimmy.

MY DAD:THOUGHTS ON FATHER'S DAY

I was about 7 years old and was home sick. When I woke up I remember seeing Daddy at my bedside, in his khaki uniform (he had just come home from work) and he handed me a toy, a battery operated tin robot that just basically moved around when switched on. It was a get well present and boy, did it make me feel good!

I don't know why...but when I try to recall what Daddy was like,this is the first memory that comes to mind. When I look back now, I'm not sure whether it was the gift that made me feel good or the fact that Daddy was just around!

I guess, like any typical dad of his time, my father the late Col. Jose M. Mendoza, influenced my life by working behind the scenes. It was always Mom who was around us kids most of our growing life. Dad was mostly away,working hard to "bring home" the proverbial "bacon." In my case, since I was the second to the youngest in the family, I didn't really get to have much of the father-son bonding times. To top it all, I spent about 12 years in the seminary, away from my home and family, so that didn't give us any real time for physical proximity.

Nevertheless, when I look at how I'm being a father to my kids and a husband to my wife, I see how much Daddy has shaped my paradigm of what it is to be a Dad.

To begin with, I know Daddy loved to have kids (there were 7 of us after all!...or was it because he just couldn't keep his hands away from our beautiful Mom???) and he loved all of us! I remember him saying that he considered each of us kids good luck because whenever one of us was born, he got a promotion! So when it was my turn to be a dad, I also looked at the arrival of my kids as blessings (what I called my "happy thoughts" in the language of Peter Pan in "Hook.") I would have wanted more than three but Jaja said enough!

When anyone of us kids got sick it was important for Dad that we get well as quickly as possible. I remember us having boxes of comic books because whenever we got sick he would buy us comics to cheer us up.

Maybe it was also because he had such a happy childhood (if we believe the stories he and his siblings) that he wanted to have a big family himself and share the happiness he felt as a child with all of us kids.

Because Dad was into photography,all of us Mendoza kids have gazillions of pictures taken by him, from baby pics to memorable events when we were growing up. We each have a baby book that he and Mom tried their best to fill up with information so we would know about our own life's story later on. I don't know many kids who can say they have fathers who had such an interest in them to take time to save their memorabilia.

I've taken after Daddy when it comes to being sentimental about my kids. TJ, James and Tasha each have their own baby books and gazillions of photos. Maybe I've done better because I have photos of my kids from the time they were inside their mom (ultrasound photos) and also because I have some shots of them being taken out via C Section (taken by Kuya Zen.) Thanks to affordable videocams I've also captured my three boogers in action over the years.

Dad created a "culture"for us Mendoza's by observing "rituals" and laying down "traditions". I have carried on with some of these practices today.

For example, we had a seating arrangement at table with him and Mom on each end of the table and us kids occupying our designated places. He and Mom were the last to serve themselves, taking only the food that we left for them after getting our share.

We used to go to Mass together and for a good long while we would have a photo shoot of the family before boarding our green Chevy Station Wagon( "Old Faithful," we called it) to head off to church. He would call out: "All Aboard!" and like sailors we would take our places inside the car...although at times there would be some tussle about who would sit beside the window.

Because he and Mom were devout Catholics we prayed the rosary everyday and the Novenas to Our Mother of Perpetual Help and St. Joseph on their designated days (Wednesdays and March 19.) Dad felt it was his duty to show us that religion and the practice of one's faith was essential to a happy and sound family life.

We even had our own lingo. "Hamus" was our term for any pig that Mommy would raise (this I learned was taken from the cartoon Li'l Abner where the pig was named Hamus Alabamus.) We named our station wagon "Old Faithful." "Project Poor" was our term for the Directo's in Project 4 while Project Rich referred to Uncle Teofs brood.

For Dad, togetherness was a big thing. Staying in touch with family and kin was important.

On weekends he would take us to trips to Tagaytay, or have lunch outside if he had the extra money. Her made sure we watched family movies like: "The Sound of Music" or "Mary Poppins" together.We had family outings to Corregidor and regular summer trips to Lido beach (when these were still in pristine condition.) Then, we would also have our Holy Week vacations in Pangasinan, where all the Mendoza's would get together at Uncle Peds' house in Malasiqui.

Dad was a romantic. It was obvious that he loved Mommy very much because on Christmas day, Mommy's birthday and their wedding anniversary, Mom always received a treat or a special surprise. For Christmas, Mom would always get the traditional Whitman's sampler. After she opened it during Media Noche we would each get a piece. I recall that for her birthday she would get a bottle of expensive perfume. On their anniversary they would go out for dinner, and on their 25th anniversary they went on an Asian tour.

Up to the time Mommy died, Dad made Mommy feel she was the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth! He served her literally and tried to fulfill her every whim.

I recall him saying that whenever he received his bonus, Mommy would start thinking of the next expansion project to beautify our house at Annapolis, Greenhills. When he retired and the two of them were left on their own,they had a morning ritual of going to church, having breakfast at Mom's orchid house, then tending to the orchids, taking naps and discussing events.Dad would drive for Mom when he could and accompany her to trips to Unimart or other shopping centers.


All these practices and rituals may have been programmed into my psyche because I find myself doing the same things, although in different ways.

For example, we do have a seating arrangement at our dining table although James violates this time and again by sitting where he pleases. We try to go to Church as a family when we can,but again, James prefers to go to a particular time slot with his cousins. Then, we have our weekend outings to the mall, and then during the holidays we make it a point to visit our relatives.

I make it a point to be romantic towards my wife,surprising her with gifts and making special occasions really special for her. She has Dad to thank for this.

Daddy wasn't outwardly expressive about his love for us although we knew and felt that he loved us very much. He only started verbalizing his love for us kids after he attended a PSI Course, but that was later in his life. Perhaps his military training taught him not to be demonstrative about his affections. We knew we could count on him to listen to us and help us out whenever we ran to him for something.

For instance, I remember Ate Per approaching him for help on a Physics problem.Since he had advanced training on this when he was in PMA he made the problem simple enough for Ate to understand.

When he knew you were really interested in something,he supported you all the way.

When I was about 5 or 6 years old,he had a fatigue uniform specially tailored for me because I had expressed interest in following his footsteps as a soldier.

I once asked him to draw me a design for a machine gun because I wanted to make one out of wood. Although he knew this couldn't be done he drew me one anyway and even took time to explain how it should work.

When I was about 8 years old, I saw a junior chemistry set being sold at the Acme Grocery store in Forbes and told him I wanted one but it cost a lot of money back then (P 10.) Instead of saying "No,it's too expensive," he made me work for it. He made me a crude bank account and told me that for every centavo I saved out of my allowance he would put in the equivalent amount until we reached 10 pesos. I think it took me about a month to raise the needed amount to buy the set, but I felt good about having bought something out of my own money,even though it was subsidized.

When I got bitten by the camera bug,Dad bought me books, magazines, cameras and even "borrowed" photo equipment from PRRM,where he used to work, so I could indulge in this expensive hobby.

During my second year in High School I took an interest in Classical Guitar and when I showed him a book at Erehwon which cost P20 (a huge sum for a book then) he got me the book and later on bought me a guitar in Cebu which was made of Langka wood.

Dad loved to have fun and play practical jokes.

Once he bought a "Fly in the ice cube" from a novelty shop and placed this in Uncle Teofs drink during a party. Then there was the "Spilled ink" gag (a black colored ink blob with an ink bottle) which he placed on Ate Per's brand new Biology book. Ate was so upset at the thought that her new book was ruined, until Daddy revealed the prank.

One of the most memorable was the "Barf" gag. This was a rubberized vomit which if sprinkled with some water looked like real the real thing. Dad placed this on their bed and when Mom saw it vented her anger on our poor dog Charlie,whom she thought was responsible for the mess.

Daddy was a soldier to his country, a loving and romantic husband to Mom,a doting and caring father to all of us kids,a model Christian and father to me.

It has been said that the picture of God as a Father, we get from our earthly dads.

I am one of the lucky one's to have experienced God's love here on earth because of my Dad...and I hope to pass on this experience to my own kids.

LIFE DOES NOT COME WITH AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL

TJ is into one of his "Life Sucks" moods again...and as usual it's because of being rejected by a girl. He's blaming himself for not being good looking and also for being your basically "good""well-mannered" average Joe. He now even considers his being"good" as the reason why this girl (Karlah or Steph?) just wants to be her friend and not something else. It's sad that he thinks being "good" is the cause of his downfall...being"good" is a liability because it's going to get you nowhere with girls nowadays! (Doh!) So does that mean girls today want their boys to have a mean streak??? Has the world really changed that much...for the worse?

Right now, I just feel helpless. I know the answer to this one. Everything he perceives "wrong" about his situation is in his head. But in spite of my efforts in the past to re-program his attitude towards himself and life, he still goes back to his Charlie Brown mentality when "tragedies"like these happen.

I know also that the thing to do is to convince him that in the long run, his "being good" will be recognized by some one who deserves his love, and that he should not give up on " being good."But, I know too well also...that sometimes it's better that he figure out the answer himself and all I can do is watch and be arouond to support him.

Well, the bright side to this is that he seems to have changed a bit. Now, he realizes he just has to go on with his life and act normal in spite of the pain and all. He even has a saying:" The smile is the best form of disguise..."

Life did not give us an instruction manual on how to handle cases such as this, which I can probably categorize as Case #26830-E: " Adolescent Son Undergoing Rejection by a Potential Crush & Taking It Against the World"

I guess I'll just have to accept this as one of the thrills of parenthood! :-)

THE BEATLES' SECRETS

" Paul McCartney had an affair!"
"Brian Epstein was gay and in love with John Lennon!"
"The Beatles may have fathered many illegitimate children!"
"John Lennon had a lover Mae Wang...given to him by Yoko Ono!"
"John and Paul kept George at the sidelines!"

I watched a feature last week on TV entitled the Beatles' Secrets and honestly I was glued on to the set until the end of the show. The documentary-revelation showed people close to the Fab Four (their manager,close friend,publicist etc.) talking about things the Beatles did that any die-hard moptop fan would not want to hear about.

Among the interesting "facts" I learned:

- Brian Epstein really did create the Beatles, their image, their fame and fortune and he did his best to protect anything that would tarnish their wholesome image. When pregnant girls would claim one of the Four was the father of their child he'd simply pay them off. According to the narrative, Brian,who owned one of the biggest record producing outfits in the UK then, was always looking for new talent to promote.He and a friend visited the Tavern where the Beatles(the Journeymen) were performing and saw their potential. He signed them up and convinced them to change from a rowdy looking,leather-jacket-clad group to the clean -cut, mophaired, suit wearing quartet they have become known for. As a finishing touch to the transformation,he required the Beatles to bow after each song...another trademark. Epstein,who was gay and in love with John Lennon, was rumored to even have had a weekend alone with the sexually intrepid Chief Beatle. He died of drug overdose at the age of 32.

- Before they finally became The Beatles, Pete Best,the original drummer of the Silver Beatles had to be let go. As John Lennon remarked: "Pete Best was a good drummer...Ringo Starr was a good Beatle."

- Cynthia Lennon,John's first wife, was, for a good long while, the Beatles' secret. Since it would not have been good for their image to the fans to have one of them married, Cynthia had to bear not being with her husband in public. According to this feature, Cynthia was unhappy with the marriage anyway because John wasn't a good husband after all. When it became common knowledge that John was married, Cynthia was finally able to join them on tour.

- For the Beatles to be really considered a success, they had to conquer the USA. And so Brian had the Fab Four go on a road tour of different states. But even before this happened the group's "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and "Please, Please Me" had already hit number 1 in the record charts. So when the boys did arrive they were shocked to find out how much Beatlemania had already affected US fans. When they performed live on the Ed Sullivan Show their manager claimed that all America watched.

- The constant touring finally took its toll on the Beatles such that they thought it had nothing to do with their growth as musicians. As their former manager related,it reached a point where the screaming fans and inane fan behavior sort of amused the boys they'd often make snide comments about it among themselves while they were onstage. Epstein still felt that they were supposed to do concerts so eventually the Beatles decided to go on their own. Thus, Apple Records was born.

- When they left behind the concert tours and concentrated on music the Beatles were able to produce many of their best and most memorable music ever. (found in Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, Revolver,Abbey Road, Let It Be) It was during this time that the Lennon-McCartney tandem really shone, but at the expense of George Harrison, who inspite of being a good musician himself, was not given any help by John and Paul.

- The decline of the Beatles began when they decided to go on their own and manage themselves. Since they didn't know anything about managing and making a profit they outfitted their headquarters with such extravagance, and their lavish lifestyles soon drained their finances.

- Personal troubles also beset the Liverpool four during this time. John, who had divorced Cynthia Lennon, one day walked in with his new mate,Yoko Ono. Paul and the others didn't like her and made her feel it so. Paul who was dating actress Jane Asher, broke up with her and had an affair with a publicist(I forgot her name but she's now old and so ugly you'd wonder why Paul took her on.) Eventually, Paul married Linda Eastman.

What did I feel while the Beatles' deep dark secrets were being revealed? Generally, I didn't feel let down or get a shock. (Maybe, after seeing how ugly Paul's paramour was now.)if I had known all these when I was still a kid, I would have been disappointed. But now, I understand that the Beatles were after all, human. Although they were literally worshipped as "gods of rock and roll" during their time,they were subject to human frailty.

For me, what matters is that these Fabulous Four from Liverpool once upon a time (and even till now) brightened my life with their music.