Norm Brodsky: When Negotiating, Always Listen Before You Speak, Planning and Strategy Article - Inc. Article
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
FLASHBACK 5 -10 YEARS OLD PART 3
Continuing from where I left off...
52. The very first birthday I recall was when I was 5 years old. It was a Wednesday and it was so much fun,there was cake,ice cream balloons...and gifts...that I began to think every Wednesday was my birthday. So the following week I waited expectantly for Wednesday because it was going to be my birthday again...so I was a bit disappointed when there was no celebration. The concept of birthday had to be explained to me of course.
53. I developed primary complex when I was in Grade 1. I didn't know then that I was sick because Mom never explained it to me. All of a sudden I found myself not going to school,which was OK by me but also puzzling...because by that time I was enjoying school & I was at the top of my class. For about 2 weeks or so, I stayed home...quarantined I guess, until I got well. What I recall about that time was I watched a lot of TV, and got hooked reading Youngster magazine. This was one of the publications that the Sisters of St. Paul sold door to door. It contained a comic strip about Xartan (a play on Tarzan), a boy who was brought up by wolves,who eventually grew up and took over the leadership of a wolf pack. Part of my bonus being a sick boy was that I got to eat Mom's cooking first before she packed these in the lunch pails which were brought to school by our driver. She would watch Nora Daza's cooking show on TV,taking down notes of the recipe,then head off to Acme to buy ingredients,then cook the dish for lunch. One of these dishes I recall vividly was Kaldereta de Baka, because Mommy really cooked it to perfection. It was also the first time I tasted olives and found out they were yucky..(for a 6 year old!)
54. In spite of my prolonged absence because of my primary complex, I still ended up 1st honor of my section under Mr. Dormiendo. I was told later by mommy that as an incentive, we would just pay about 50% of my tuition for the following year. While I really didn't understand what this meant, I strived to get top honors mainly because it made Mom and Dad happy, and I got some small reward (e.g. a toy, or a model plane) as a reward for my efforts.
Interesting footnote: Mr. Dormiendo would again be one of my teachers when I was in Grade 5. By then though, I wasn't so interested in academics as I was with baseball & other sports, so my grades suffered. At the end of the year I only got a bronze medal! Mr. Dormiendo remarked that as I grew older it seemed I became more of an underachiever...because i only got a bronze medal!
The following year, when I was in Grade 6, I got my mojo back, and topped my class and got gold! but there's a story behind this.
55. While on the subject of teachers, I still can recall my teachers in charge during my elementary days: Dormiendo, Lalas (gr.2), Zapanta (Gr.3), Balagtas (Gr.4), Hicban (Gr.5), Balagtas again (Gr.6) and Gonzales aka Timbuktu (Gr.7)
52. The very first birthday I recall was when I was 5 years old. It was a Wednesday and it was so much fun,there was cake,ice cream balloons...and gifts...that I began to think every Wednesday was my birthday. So the following week I waited expectantly for Wednesday because it was going to be my birthday again...so I was a bit disappointed when there was no celebration. The concept of birthday had to be explained to me of course.
53. I developed primary complex when I was in Grade 1. I didn't know then that I was sick because Mom never explained it to me. All of a sudden I found myself not going to school,which was OK by me but also puzzling...because by that time I was enjoying school & I was at the top of my class. For about 2 weeks or so, I stayed home...quarantined I guess, until I got well. What I recall about that time was I watched a lot of TV, and got hooked reading Youngster magazine. This was one of the publications that the Sisters of St. Paul sold door to door. It contained a comic strip about Xartan (a play on Tarzan), a boy who was brought up by wolves,who eventually grew up and took over the leadership of a wolf pack. Part of my bonus being a sick boy was that I got to eat Mom's cooking first before she packed these in the lunch pails which were brought to school by our driver. She would watch Nora Daza's cooking show on TV,taking down notes of the recipe,then head off to Acme to buy ingredients,then cook the dish for lunch. One of these dishes I recall vividly was Kaldereta de Baka, because Mommy really cooked it to perfection. It was also the first time I tasted olives and found out they were yucky..(for a 6 year old!)
54. In spite of my prolonged absence because of my primary complex, I still ended up 1st honor of my section under Mr. Dormiendo. I was told later by mommy that as an incentive, we would just pay about 50% of my tuition for the following year. While I really didn't understand what this meant, I strived to get top honors mainly because it made Mom and Dad happy, and I got some small reward (e.g. a toy, or a model plane) as a reward for my efforts.
Interesting footnote: Mr. Dormiendo would again be one of my teachers when I was in Grade 5. By then though, I wasn't so interested in academics as I was with baseball & other sports, so my grades suffered. At the end of the year I only got a bronze medal! Mr. Dormiendo remarked that as I grew older it seemed I became more of an underachiever...because i only got a bronze medal!
The following year, when I was in Grade 6, I got my mojo back, and topped my class and got gold! but there's a story behind this.
55. While on the subject of teachers, I still can recall my teachers in charge during my elementary days: Dormiendo, Lalas (gr.2), Zapanta (Gr.3), Balagtas (Gr.4), Hicban (Gr.5), Balagtas again (Gr.6) and Gonzales aka Timbuktu (Gr.7)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
FLASHBACK CONTINUED: 5 - 10 YEARS OLD
For some strange reason,I seem to have many images of life at Ft. William McKinley, although I didn't like the place as much as our Jusmag or South Crame home. Maybe it's because this was also the time I was starting to develop my mental powers (awareness)& me,being gifted with a photographic memory,I couldn't erase these memories.
Continuing from #27 of the previous post:The Next 5 years
28. I remember a stormy afternoon when lightning struck the road near the house & caused a momentary power outage. Mommy got so nervous she took hold of me and we prayed the rosary together until the rain stopped.
29. Another traumatic experience was seeing Daddy get really mad at Kuya Frantz about something to the point that he punched him on the shoulder. Unfortunately, Daddy sort of dislocated his shoulder a bit and writhed in pain on the floor. Mommy was hysterical seeing Dad this way.
30. We had a weird neighbor. I don't recall the boy's name but they lived in one of the bigger bungalow type houses. He took me to his house one afternoon & told me to peek thru the keyholes of 2 separate rooms & I saw 2 identical young girls being dressed up by 2 identical lolas. When they left,people said the house was haunted.
31. I went to school in San Beda while we were still living in McKinley. I can't forget how traumatic it was to be left alone in school. It was my consolation however,that Kuya Dennis who was Grade 7 at the time was in the same school. Since Icouldn't speak Tagalog very well,I was quiet much of the time. My teacher was Mr. Senar,whom I feared,because he hit students! He had this long stick which not only served as a pointer,but also as an instrument for punishment. Any one not paying attention would get rapped on the head with the stick. Maybe it was because of this that I hated school & would find the chance to play truant when I could.
32. I remember one of my classmates, Samuel Frianeza,who couldn't be left alone in school. While all of us were finally weaned from our mothers,poor Mrs. Frianeza stayed around for about a week,it seems because Sammy would cry and go out of the room looking for her if he noticed she wasn't at the back door of the classroom.
33. Mom gave me sandwiches for my baon but also gave me some money,which I didn't know how to use! So during the first days of school,I didn't spend any on recess because I didn't know how to buy food at the canteen. But I wished I knew how because I saw some of my classmates eating hotdog sandwiches & drinking Coke,which I wanted. Fortunately, one classmate, Ramon Jimenez, taught me how it was done. For 25 cents,I had a hotdog & coke...imagine that. Once I knew how it was done,it was easy goings from there. Another favorite was the monggo hopia which sold for 5 centavos. You put the center thru the straw of your softdrink!
34. I had a mestizo classmate named Arturo Santiago who thought it was a good idea to bully me. He was much taller & was intimidating with his big eyes,but one time I had enough with his pestering and told him I was going to tell Kuya Dennis about him. So after we were dismissed one afternoon, I was fortunate enough to see Kuya hanging around the vicinity of St. Benedict building. I called him and pointed Arturo out. Kuya Dennis didn't really say anything,but when Arturo saw I really had a bigger brother, he stopped pestering me from that day onwards.
35. Because I went to school in the afternoon,Mom would send the lunch of my older siblings through our driver,Olejan,who drove me and Ate Brenda to school. Usually,the only food that Mom could afford to buy then was beef bones/ribs (punday pecho)which she would boil with veggies (potatoes,carrots,cabbage) When we reached Holy Spirit (formerly Holy Ghost College)though,the food would be cold and beef fat would curdle. "Ay Sebo!" was how they described the food (with accompanying groans) when they saw what was for lunch.
36. I don't recall when I started doing it but, I found a way not to go to school by pretending to sleep in the car and not waking up even if Olejan tried to. I would just wake up when I knew we were no longer around Mendiola. Mommy probably had fits trying to figure out how to get me to school.
37. All of us rode home in a 6x6 Army truck which was not the most comfortable ride for a kid specially on rainy days. We had an alternative bus which was more comfortable but it was used only occasionally. It was Kuya Dennis' job to make sure to pick me up at a designated spot every dismissal and walk me across Mendiola to tha waiting bus. One afternoon though I got invited by some classmates to watch them play marbles at the back of St. Benedict's. I must have been so engrossed in the game I lost track of time. When I looked for Kuya he was gone...I had been left behind! Feeling lost...I went outside SBC premises crying until a mother of one student saw my plight and took me home with her and her kids. After feeding me (since it was already dinner time) they brought me back to San Beda and checked with Fr. Benabarre, the principal, for my records so they could get in touch with Dad & Mom. It appears they were able to get in touch with home because soon Kuya Dennis showed up. I recall, Fr. Benabarre gave him a scolding & tweaked his ears for leaving me behind. I don't recall Mommy's reactions when I got home because I just felt tired from the ordeal...but I'm sure she must have freaked out.
38. I recall one afternoon when it started raining hard and it seems that classes for Kinder were suspended. Since our school bus wasn't coming till about 4 PM Mommy came over to pick me up. I felt happy about this because that meant I could watch TV by my lonesome. Besides this, Mom decided to pass by Cherry's Food mart along Shaw and bought me some ice cream!
39. I know I didn't do too well in Kindergarten because I had many absences and I wasn't too keen on maths and doing my homework. But somehow I seem to have passed with reasonable grades!
40. I hated going to the barbershop because whenever I had a haircut,my neck itcehd all over. One time when Dad was trying to get me to the barber I sort of resisted and when he gave my arm a tug I must have dislocated it. Next thing I know I'm going to this manghihilot somewhere near Olejan's place (5th or 6th Ave along Santolan) I hated the treatment because this lady would rub stinky oil on my arm and pull it every which way and it hurt!
41. Our driver Olejan had a sari-sari store which was run by his wife. I recall that whenever Dad was to take over the wheel of our Green Chevy, Olejan's wife would bring out a bottle of soda and my favorite bread,called Sputnik. It was a hard,sweet roll that I seemed to enjoy.
42. I don't remember if I was in Kinder or Grade 1 but there was a time that one of Mom's firends, a Mrs. Pelayo & daughter Becky? would ride to Mendiola with Ate Brenda & myself. What I remember of her was that her face was white with make up & that Becky seemed like a special child, because Mrs. Pelayo kept accompanying her to Holy Spirit.
43. I don't recall the year but one day we were all packing up our things to move to a new house in J-16 Jusmag area...a place where I had many good childhood memories because it seemed that we had so many friends there. I recall that one afternoon Kuya Dennis and I were assigned to be the advanced party there & slept over in the house to guard the belongings that were already there. It was a cooler place so I liked the house immediately. I guess I was still in Kinder that time we moved because i have a picture of myself wearing a cap & gown when i graduated from Kinder & it was taken in front of the house.
44. Our neighbors: To our left were the Garcias (an Air Force guy)--WeeGee was my first playmate & he had a petite older sister Nina & a younger one whose name I forget. Then there were the Valencianos, the Bautista's (Ricky,Cesar & Aida--my first crush) The Hernandez's (Fil-Americans or Tisoy's;Bonny the older girl was Kuya Den's crush I think),the Velasquez's (Air Force)--Tony & Maneng were my playmates--they had an older sis; the Querubins;the Mascarina's, the other Garcias (Jeff & Jonas)--Fil-Americans or Tisoys, then at the top of the hill,the Tiongkos---who owned a sari-sari store where we ofetn bought Choco-Nut.
45. I recall that Mom put us kids thru a weekend program that everyone had to follow under pain of punishment. Maybe it was because our house was a bit bigger this time around,she required us to clean up our rooms and do our chores before we could play or watch TV. When I learned to use the floor polisher,I was once put in charge of the sala.
46. Moms, or Lola Andang would time and again sleep over at the house. I remember that since she was diabetic,she would inject herself with insulin & when she saw us watching her she would jokingly approach us as if to inject us. She was very kind-hearted though. If you went around without a shirt she would make the sign of the cross on your bare back...maybe to ward off any sickness.
47. Life in Jusmag was like living in an idyll place..much like what I read in our reading books "Fun with John and jean" where kids rode on bikes and just seemed to spend all day playing.
48. I believe it was during the summer vacation after graduating from Kinder that i started getting interested in reading. I had taken hold of Ate Brenda's Grade 1 reading book and out of curiosity started reading it. Because I made such good progress I started reading my elder sisters other books. Maybe that's why I changed my attitude about school when I entered grade 1.
49. When I entered Grade 1,my teacher in charge was Mr. Dormiendo, a fun teacher,who was responsible for my blossoming as an A student. He encouraged me to join a flash card competition where he would flash mathematical equations and you were supposed to shout out the answer. You would take a step forward if you got the right answer & the first to reach the front of the class won. I joined in one & I won. Because of that one experience,I thought I'd sharpen my math skills more & join more often. Because I started winning a lot of these,Mr. Dormiendo started taking notice. He would ask for volunteers to recite poems in front of the class & since I had memorized many posems from reading comic books I often raised my hand to volunteer. Soon,I became a contender for honors of the class.
50. Mr. Dormiendo entered my name in a Religion contest where I was to compete agains all other Grade 1 sections (morning & afternoon classes.) Mom drilled me in the catechism book which we used, day in and day out before the actual competition. Since the contest was to be held in the morning Dad had to drive me to school. The contest was held at the covered courts, with all the AM sections witnessing. Mommy stayed to watch. I wasn't really nervous & I just remember making it to thru the eliminations until there were only about 5 or so of us. After the final round I emerged the winner, and of course, Mom was so proud of my achievement,that as a treat she bought me lots of pork barbeque for lunch. Mr. Dormiendo of course, proudly announced my winning the contest & that motivated me more to compete.
51. One of the contests that Mr. Dormiendo made me join was the elocution contest. The piece I was supposed to recite was The Kite. Somehow though I misunderstood that I had been eliminated instead of "qualified" so that on the morning of the competition, I was surprised to be visited by Mr. Dormiendo who got a cab to bring me to San Beda. Unfortunately, we were already late when we got there so I didn't get a chance to compete.
Continuing from #27 of the previous post:The Next 5 years
28. I remember a stormy afternoon when lightning struck the road near the house & caused a momentary power outage. Mommy got so nervous she took hold of me and we prayed the rosary together until the rain stopped.
29. Another traumatic experience was seeing Daddy get really mad at Kuya Frantz about something to the point that he punched him on the shoulder. Unfortunately, Daddy sort of dislocated his shoulder a bit and writhed in pain on the floor. Mommy was hysterical seeing Dad this way.
30. We had a weird neighbor. I don't recall the boy's name but they lived in one of the bigger bungalow type houses. He took me to his house one afternoon & told me to peek thru the keyholes of 2 separate rooms & I saw 2 identical young girls being dressed up by 2 identical lolas. When they left,people said the house was haunted.
31. I went to school in San Beda while we were still living in McKinley. I can't forget how traumatic it was to be left alone in school. It was my consolation however,that Kuya Dennis who was Grade 7 at the time was in the same school. Since Icouldn't speak Tagalog very well,I was quiet much of the time. My teacher was Mr. Senar,whom I feared,because he hit students! He had this long stick which not only served as a pointer,but also as an instrument for punishment. Any one not paying attention would get rapped on the head with the stick. Maybe it was because of this that I hated school & would find the chance to play truant when I could.
32. I remember one of my classmates, Samuel Frianeza,who couldn't be left alone in school. While all of us were finally weaned from our mothers,poor Mrs. Frianeza stayed around for about a week,it seems because Sammy would cry and go out of the room looking for her if he noticed she wasn't at the back door of the classroom.
33. Mom gave me sandwiches for my baon but also gave me some money,which I didn't know how to use! So during the first days of school,I didn't spend any on recess because I didn't know how to buy food at the canteen. But I wished I knew how because I saw some of my classmates eating hotdog sandwiches & drinking Coke,which I wanted. Fortunately, one classmate, Ramon Jimenez, taught me how it was done. For 25 cents,I had a hotdog & coke...imagine that. Once I knew how it was done,it was easy goings from there. Another favorite was the monggo hopia which sold for 5 centavos. You put the center thru the straw of your softdrink!
34. I had a mestizo classmate named Arturo Santiago who thought it was a good idea to bully me. He was much taller & was intimidating with his big eyes,but one time I had enough with his pestering and told him I was going to tell Kuya Dennis about him. So after we were dismissed one afternoon, I was fortunate enough to see Kuya hanging around the vicinity of St. Benedict building. I called him and pointed Arturo out. Kuya Dennis didn't really say anything,but when Arturo saw I really had a bigger brother, he stopped pestering me from that day onwards.
35. Because I went to school in the afternoon,Mom would send the lunch of my older siblings through our driver,Olejan,who drove me and Ate Brenda to school. Usually,the only food that Mom could afford to buy then was beef bones/ribs (punday pecho)which she would boil with veggies (potatoes,carrots,cabbage) When we reached Holy Spirit (formerly Holy Ghost College)though,the food would be cold and beef fat would curdle. "Ay Sebo!" was how they described the food (with accompanying groans) when they saw what was for lunch.
36. I don't recall when I started doing it but, I found a way not to go to school by pretending to sleep in the car and not waking up even if Olejan tried to. I would just wake up when I knew we were no longer around Mendiola. Mommy probably had fits trying to figure out how to get me to school.
37. All of us rode home in a 6x6 Army truck which was not the most comfortable ride for a kid specially on rainy days. We had an alternative bus which was more comfortable but it was used only occasionally. It was Kuya Dennis' job to make sure to pick me up at a designated spot every dismissal and walk me across Mendiola to tha waiting bus. One afternoon though I got invited by some classmates to watch them play marbles at the back of St. Benedict's. I must have been so engrossed in the game I lost track of time. When I looked for Kuya he was gone...I had been left behind! Feeling lost...I went outside SBC premises crying until a mother of one student saw my plight and took me home with her and her kids. After feeding me (since it was already dinner time) they brought me back to San Beda and checked with Fr. Benabarre, the principal, for my records so they could get in touch with Dad & Mom. It appears they were able to get in touch with home because soon Kuya Dennis showed up. I recall, Fr. Benabarre gave him a scolding & tweaked his ears for leaving me behind. I don't recall Mommy's reactions when I got home because I just felt tired from the ordeal...but I'm sure she must have freaked out.
38. I recall one afternoon when it started raining hard and it seems that classes for Kinder were suspended. Since our school bus wasn't coming till about 4 PM Mommy came over to pick me up. I felt happy about this because that meant I could watch TV by my lonesome. Besides this, Mom decided to pass by Cherry's Food mart along Shaw and bought me some ice cream!
39. I know I didn't do too well in Kindergarten because I had many absences and I wasn't too keen on maths and doing my homework. But somehow I seem to have passed with reasonable grades!
40. I hated going to the barbershop because whenever I had a haircut,my neck itcehd all over. One time when Dad was trying to get me to the barber I sort of resisted and when he gave my arm a tug I must have dislocated it. Next thing I know I'm going to this manghihilot somewhere near Olejan's place (5th or 6th Ave along Santolan) I hated the treatment because this lady would rub stinky oil on my arm and pull it every which way and it hurt!
41. Our driver Olejan had a sari-sari store which was run by his wife. I recall that whenever Dad was to take over the wheel of our Green Chevy, Olejan's wife would bring out a bottle of soda and my favorite bread,called Sputnik. It was a hard,sweet roll that I seemed to enjoy.
42. I don't remember if I was in Kinder or Grade 1 but there was a time that one of Mom's firends, a Mrs. Pelayo & daughter Becky? would ride to Mendiola with Ate Brenda & myself. What I remember of her was that her face was white with make up & that Becky seemed like a special child, because Mrs. Pelayo kept accompanying her to Holy Spirit.
43. I don't recall the year but one day we were all packing up our things to move to a new house in J-16 Jusmag area...a place where I had many good childhood memories because it seemed that we had so many friends there. I recall that one afternoon Kuya Dennis and I were assigned to be the advanced party there & slept over in the house to guard the belongings that were already there. It was a cooler place so I liked the house immediately. I guess I was still in Kinder that time we moved because i have a picture of myself wearing a cap & gown when i graduated from Kinder & it was taken in front of the house.
44. Our neighbors: To our left were the Garcias (an Air Force guy)--WeeGee was my first playmate & he had a petite older sister Nina & a younger one whose name I forget. Then there were the Valencianos, the Bautista's (Ricky,Cesar & Aida--my first crush) The Hernandez's (Fil-Americans or Tisoy's;Bonny the older girl was Kuya Den's crush I think),the Velasquez's (Air Force)--Tony & Maneng were my playmates--they had an older sis; the Querubins;the Mascarina's, the other Garcias (Jeff & Jonas)--Fil-Americans or Tisoys, then at the top of the hill,the Tiongkos---who owned a sari-sari store where we ofetn bought Choco-Nut.
45. I recall that Mom put us kids thru a weekend program that everyone had to follow under pain of punishment. Maybe it was because our house was a bit bigger this time around,she required us to clean up our rooms and do our chores before we could play or watch TV. When I learned to use the floor polisher,I was once put in charge of the sala.
46. Moms, or Lola Andang would time and again sleep over at the house. I remember that since she was diabetic,she would inject herself with insulin & when she saw us watching her she would jokingly approach us as if to inject us. She was very kind-hearted though. If you went around without a shirt she would make the sign of the cross on your bare back...maybe to ward off any sickness.
47. Life in Jusmag was like living in an idyll place..much like what I read in our reading books "Fun with John and jean" where kids rode on bikes and just seemed to spend all day playing.
48. I believe it was during the summer vacation after graduating from Kinder that i started getting interested in reading. I had taken hold of Ate Brenda's Grade 1 reading book and out of curiosity started reading it. Because I made such good progress I started reading my elder sisters other books. Maybe that's why I changed my attitude about school when I entered grade 1.
49. When I entered Grade 1,my teacher in charge was Mr. Dormiendo, a fun teacher,who was responsible for my blossoming as an A student. He encouraged me to join a flash card competition where he would flash mathematical equations and you were supposed to shout out the answer. You would take a step forward if you got the right answer & the first to reach the front of the class won. I joined in one & I won. Because of that one experience,I thought I'd sharpen my math skills more & join more often. Because I started winning a lot of these,Mr. Dormiendo started taking notice. He would ask for volunteers to recite poems in front of the class & since I had memorized many posems from reading comic books I often raised my hand to volunteer. Soon,I became a contender for honors of the class.
50. Mr. Dormiendo entered my name in a Religion contest where I was to compete agains all other Grade 1 sections (morning & afternoon classes.) Mom drilled me in the catechism book which we used, day in and day out before the actual competition. Since the contest was to be held in the morning Dad had to drive me to school. The contest was held at the covered courts, with all the AM sections witnessing. Mommy stayed to watch. I wasn't really nervous & I just remember making it to thru the eliminations until there were only about 5 or so of us. After the final round I emerged the winner, and of course, Mom was so proud of my achievement,that as a treat she bought me lots of pork barbeque for lunch. Mr. Dormiendo of course, proudly announced my winning the contest & that motivated me more to compete.
51. One of the contests that Mr. Dormiendo made me join was the elocution contest. The piece I was supposed to recite was The Kite. Somehow though I misunderstood that I had been eliminated instead of "qualified" so that on the morning of the competition, I was surprised to be visited by Mr. Dormiendo who got a cab to bring me to San Beda. Unfortunately, we were already late when we got there so I didn't get a chance to compete.
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