52 and Counting

I turned 52 last week (Jan. 18)and though I didn't feel a year older that day,this morning a strange thing happened when I got up to pee. A flash of realization that my kids had grown older...suddenly made me aware that time had really flown and was ticking faster now. It happened so quickly...in just a few seconds I relived holding TJ in my arms...James as a baby..and Tash as a cute 2 year old. Now...TJ is a 21 year old,figuring out what he'd like to do with his life. James is in 1st year College,enjoying his new friends and college life. Tash is in 1st year high blossoming into a pretty and smart teener. Now, if there is one thing I ought to pay attention to and savor...is how they will turn out to be in the next 5 to 10 years. I hope what we have done to prepare them to be good persons,work! I can only sit and wait :-)

2006: THE YEAR THAT WAS

I will remember 2006 as the year for reunions and getting re-acquainted with old friends.

January- Jaja and I grew older by one year!

February- We had a successful convention for Managers (at the Philippine Plaza) & Franchisees (at Boracay Regency) in spite of the difficulties in preparations. The highlight of the month though was the much awaited R&R which we held on Feb 17-19 at the Redemptorist Novitiate in Lipa. We had 53 reunionists attending this once in a blue moon affair.Frs. Ahearn,Murray and Mr. Bautista joined the event.

I also had a reunion with "old friends" from Fatima parish in June.

Tasha and James graduated this year. Tash graduated from St.Paul,elementary and James from Lourdes High school. James passed entrance exams at College of St. Benilde (HRM) and seems to be enjoying his College life.

Auntie Bebeng finally passed away after a long bout with cancer. Angie Padilla's dad, Al, died of a heart attack several weeks after he joined our Fatima reunion. Mike Meily, a classmate from San Beda, lost his eldest son. Jerome broke up with Iris.

TJ was able to experience working with a company during his practicum with Accenture.

Evie, Lyra and Isah migrated to Canada and are starting new lives over at the land of the Canucks.

Jaja had trips to India and Australia. We were able to go to Dos Palmas, Palawan although not under ideal conditions because it was raining hard. We enjoyed the trip nevertheless. I was able to go to Pearl Farm and experience a helicopter ride courtesy of Mayor Duterte's private chopper.

I was able to visit Tacloban and Ormoc during the Grand Opening of our store there.

Auntie Luming and Uncle Tony vacationed once again here when they came over to check on how Auntie Bebeng was doing.

Typhoons Milenyo and Reming devastated the country. TJV went under water when Milenyo hit.

I got hooked on Friendster and YouTube. I also developed my skills in video editing, in a way I fulfilled a dream when I was akid of doing my own video productions.

CHRISTMAS PRACTICES & TRADITIONS: WHAT'S IN & WHAT'S OUT

Over the years I've noticed that little by little Christmas practices/traditions/rituals have been disappearing and newer "trends" have been emerging. Some have remained although not observed the same way we did when I was still a kid.

WHAT's OUT:

1) Christmas caroling the old fashioned way: used to be you could just go caroling anytime.Now,because of the ban on caroling, you have to send in advanced notice otherwise they won't let you into subdivisions.
2) Candy canes-when I was a kid Dad used to buy 2 large peppermint candy canes and hang these on one of our walls;I dont see these around anymore.
3) Christmas trees from real pine or agojo trees - Christmas trees are made of plastic or foil. There are even trees with built-in Christmas lights.
4) The traditional Belen under the Christmas tree - these were made of cardboard and you set these up like a diorama.
5) Sending Christmas cards-Used to be you would buy these and send them so many months in advance so they would reach the addressees in time for the Holidays.
6) Personalized Christmas cards- These were printed with the family photo at the front and customized greetings inside the card.
7) One Christmas Eve Mass only-it used to be held at 12 midnight and end after about an hour. Noche Buena followed. Nowadays,there can be as many as 3 evening masses.
8) The many corporate displays outside office buildings- Coca-Cola, Pepsi Cola, Ysmael Steel,COD. These would have movable displays which would be watched by people during the Christmas holidays.
9) Christmas shopping only in December- that was the only time we shopped for gifts and Christmas music was played.
10) Christmas vacations and celebrations at home-it used to be that people just stayed home or went to the provinces but still stayed inside homes during Christmas vacation.
11) Giving gifts that come in boxes and painstakingly gift-wrapped with ribbons and all. The bigger the gift the more expensive it usually was.
12) Dressing up for the holidays.
13) Home made parols and lantern parades in schools-used to be part of the pre-Christmas vacation activities in schools to have lantern parades.
14) Home-cooked Noche Buena
15) The Nativity story would be televised frequently.

WHATs IN:
1) Christmas shopping as early as July
2) Non-traditional Christmas decor and more brightly lit,flashy,high-tech lanterns.
3) Christmas vacations in hotels and resorts
4) Christmas gifts in bags and preformed boxes
5) Noche Buena meals in quick service restaurants or food delivered to your homes.
6) More monetary gifts or donations to the poor made in your name.
7) As times get tougher,more cookies and baked goods are given as gifts.
8) Nowadays, the smaller the package the more expensive the gift (e.g cameras, mp3s or ipods)
9) Sending electronic greeting cards or actually face to face greetings via webcam.
10) Christmas movies shown in so many channels but less of the Christmas story as told by the Bible.
11) Christmas masses held as early as 9 PM.

A REFLECTION ON SIN

It's Advent once again. Last Sunday's Gospel was about John the Baptist calling on sinners to repent for the Messiah was coming. The reading from the Old Testament used picturesque words to describe the repentance that was required for one to be prepared for the Messiah..."make way for the Lord...you shall flatten the hills and valleys"...as if to suggest that if you've got one hell of a sin,you've got to clear it out!

When I was in Grade 1, our Catechism book illustrated the difference between venial sin and mortal sin. I still recall drawings of three boys: one whose heart was pure white(sinless);the second had some spots on his heart (venial sin) and the really bad boy had a black heart (mortal sin.) Whoever drew that picture is to be commended because I really believed that was how sin affected people. When I saw a broadcast of a heart surgery done on TV I wanted to see if the patient had sins. I was looking for the black spots on his heart that would tell me if he had mortal or venial sins. So it came as quite a shock to me when I realized that sin wasn't something you could see marked on one's heart.

But now that I am older and wiser,I realize that the imagery of sin as something blackening one's heart is really closer to the truth than I realized.

My realization is that sin has a way of deadening one's capacity to love (as symbolized by the heart.) For example, if a man cheats on his wife,I'm pretty sure that the first thing to react is his heart.It starts to pump faster because it knows something wrong is happening. The man's guilt can't be hidden. Over time though,after the man has rationalized his sin,the heart no longer reacts...because it has already been blackened by sin...it no longer feels.

No wonder that men find true repentance difficult!It will require the effort of" levelling the hills and valleys" to clean one's heart, and bring it back to a state where it can love and feel again.

THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

I attended the 25th anniversary of Fr. Leonido "Nonie"Dolor as a priest last Monday(December 4) at the La Salle Lipa Sentrum. In attendance were his brother clergy from the Lipa archdiocese and from the neighboring religious orders,which included among others,the Redemptorists,to which he once belonged.

At one point during the ceremonies I could not help but notice the number of priests and religious,many of whom were probably my age and maybe younger. I thought to myself that had I not left I would probably have been one of them.

The next thought that struck me though was the realization that these men and women were really giving up a lot to be of service to God and their fellowmen. Now that I have experienced the joys of married life and having children, I couldn't help admire the sacrifice these people were making.

WHEN NANNY KNOWS BEST!

The kids and I watched Nanny 911 last Sunday and it was an interesting example of how sometimes,Nanny really knows best.

The episode was about the Finks (Geesh what a name!) who had 3 sets of twins for kids! The first set, Amanda and Alex were both adopted.The next two sets were apparently theirs. The couple's problem was that the kids were always whining, crying and showing aggressive behavior--- as in hitting their siblings if they didn't get they want.

The couple called on Nanny 911 for help,and the Nanny who came to the rescue assessed what was going on then came up with a set of rules. The parents,upon hearing what the Nanny was prescribing as solutions and seeing the written rules were skeptical about calling in the Nanny. There was even a shot of the wife saying,in a rather sarcastic manner, that it won't work.

But was she proven wrong!

When one of the kids started whining about something,the Nanny coaxed her to use words and say what she wanted. The kid stopped crying and said what she wanted! The parents were flabbergasted.

When another kid started throwing a tantrum because he couldn't get what he wanted, Nanny picked him up and gave him a choice...say what you want or get locked up. The kid said his piece and the crying stopped.

Apparently, what had been happening was that the husband had been leaving the care of the kids to the wife,who,unable to cope with the kids dysfunctional behaviors didn't do anything to correct them and started harboring ill feelings toward the husband. In the process they started not communicating. Pretty soon everyone in the household was not communicating with each other. The only way they knew to get attention was to whine, cry or get aggressive.

The episode ended with the nanny finally saying goodbye after she saw that the Finks had alreazdy learned how to communicate with each other. Mrs. Fink confessed thsat the house was now so quiet and peaceful,she could even hear herself think!

A BARBECUE IN THE DESERT!!!

I caught a feature on Animal Planet about the life of sand grains in the Namib Desert. It tracked the years-long journey of the desert sands travelling from the desert of South Africa to their end in the ocean.

The documentary showed some of the hidden dramas taking place in the desert and one of these was the way the spore spiders trapped and killed their favorite prey...the Namib ants.

The spore spider digs a hole in the sand and at the entrance of its lair it mixes its web with sand to camouflage the trap. The spider then hides in its tunnel which is also cooler than on the surface and lies in wait for its victim.

When an ant gets caught in the web it struggles to get free but in doing so, it sends vibrations throught the sand particles which the spider detects. But here's the interesting part!

The spore spider just traps the ant in its jaws then lets it roast under the sun until it cooks to its death...ready for the spider to eat!

A desert barbecue!

BOOKS...BOOKS...EVERYWHERE! BUT DOES ANYBODY READ THEM?

One of the routine things we do when we go malling on Sundays is drop by a bookstore. Usually this is Powerbooks at Alabang Town Center,Fully Booked at Rockwell or any of the National Bookstores in any mall.

I've often wondered if anybody really reads these books and why there are so many authors writing on the same subject. What with all the stuff you can get for free over the internet...and in a more exciting format at that!

Many of these books, after staying on shelves for so many years usually go on sale sometimes at 70%-80% of their original price during book sales. Maybe an indicator that they're not really that saleable!

Recently, though I had an experience which made me realize why having books around are important.

I'm supposed to put together a "book" on "Inspirational Leadership" for Chowking. It should be written in a simple style that would make it easy reading even for our cooks. It should also be interesting, informative and yet not comre across as intellectual.

In my search for a "model" for this type of book, I came across Andrew Matthews' "Being Happy." I had used this book before as a reference for a Crew Leader develpment program I had packaged for Jollibee over 20 years ago.

While browsing through the book to check out its style, I couldn't help but read the passages I had used to teach our Crew Leaders before on how to change their mindsets in order to change their lives. And while doing so, I stopped to reflect on my own life and see whether I had put these principles to good use myself.

It was good to be reminded again!

And maybe that's what books are for...at first they serve as sources of information...later on they serve as reminders...and we can use a reminder time and again!

DA VINCI PREDICTS THE DA VINCI CODE

Here's a cartoon I made about the Da Vinci Code. For all we know Leonardo must've "predicted" it all along! :-)

TAI CHI LESSON: SLOW DOWN TO ENJOY LIFE

It just struck me that because of my seminary upbringing (i.e.,"Never waste time") and regimented programming, I tend to do things quickly and in the process not enjoy or savor the moment.

Maybe that's what my attempts at learning tai-chi has taught me recently.

There are really a lot of enjoyable things happening around me but whether I will take pleasure from these or not will really depend on me. Perhaps if I slow down a bit and appreciate things in slow motion,like the movements of tai chi,then maybe I can enjoy life more!

FIDEL CASTRO:HOW THE FATE OF A NATION HAS RESTED ON THE FATE OF ITS LEADER

I watched a NatGeo documentary on Fidel Castro last week. He has been in power since the late 50's (1959 if I heard it right) and to this day Cuba's destiny depends on what Fidel says it should be. I don't remember much about the Cuban Revolution but Fidel and his Communist guerillas overthrew the administration. Cubans who supported Fidel hoped that he would lead them to the prosperity they dreamed of. However, it was not to be. Fidel had a vision of great things for Cuba,but he only made promises. Anyone who openly criticized him was persecuted...or killed.

When Communism in Russia was finally dissolved,Fidel was in a dilemma. He had modelled his country after the USSR but now the model was gone! According to the documentary this was a great blow to Fidel. But what is more amazing is how come the Cubans have not managed to rid themselves of Fidel's strong man rule even after other countries have deposed their tyrants.

As one of the commentators mentioned, Fidel's charisma still exists. I saw a footage of him, old and haggard-looking walking up a podium to give a speech, wearing rubber shoes and a small Cuban flag on one hand. He didn't look very threatening...but still he is revered.

So maybe, the Cubans cannot blame anybody but themselves for the hard times they are experiencing. After all, they are the ones who have been tolerating Fidel all these years!

BRAZILIAN PASSION

I watched an Atlas Discovery channel feature on Brazil last night, and of course central to the film was something about the Carnivale. I learned that the word meant "to shun away from meat" (carne=meat) since the festival usually fell during the season of Lent,which in Catholic countries is observed with abstention from meat. "Meat" here though could also mean the "pleasures of the flesh," so in sensual Brazil, "carnivale" does mean a great sacrifice.

What was interesting to know though was that the preparations for Carnivale take place many months before the celebration and that many of the people who work on the huge floats and decor work for free.What motivates them simply is passion for Carnivale,and the thought that because of their contribution,their "school" might win in the annual competition.

THE ROUT @ THE RYDER CUP 2006

I watched the Ryder Cup over the weekend and from the Day 1 performance of the USA team I had a feeling it was going to go the way of the Europeans. They just looked too stiff and tense while their European counterparts were all smiles...pumped up and enjoying themselves. Of course, it helped a lot that they were on home ground,but so were the Americans last time around,and yet they lost!

So in spite of all the talent in the USA side (Tiger Woods #1, Phil Mickelson #2, Jim Furyk#3) they couldn't muster enough points to win back the trophy that has been in Europe's hands for the last three outings. This, too,in spite of the preparations Tom Lehman did to make sure he had a "team."

From my standpoint,what Team USA lacked was passion! They didn't seem to want to win! They seemed to be just going through the motions and were not putting up enough good golf to really give the Europeans a real challenge.

Maybe if there were just enough money at stake in winning the cup...then maybe the Americans might have been motivated enough! Ha!

Anyway, that's golf for you.

THE VIEW FROM MY WINDOW:AN INDESCRIBABLE LOSS

Once again,I looked out my window this Monday morning and observed parents as they brought their sons to the entrance gate of Lourdes School. I noticed a familiar pattern of behavior...more like a ritual...,and one which I performed every morning when I used to bring my own two sons to the same school.

After bringing the kid to the gate,there would be this last words of advice (or admonition),then a kiss and finally, a lingering look, as the parent watched his or her son disappear into the crowd of boys. Only then would the parent move on.

It's that lingering look that caught my attention this morning. Why did we parents instinctively do this? We knew our kids were safe, after all we personally accompanied them to the gate. And yet after we let them go,we just would stand there and watch.Perhaps we also knew instinctively that our kids would glance back and check us out and give us a last goodbye wave.

Or maybe it was because for a brief moment,we would be amazed at how our kids had grown!

Whatever the reason for lingering, I'm sure when each of us parents looked at our sons we were looking at them with love.

And that's why I guess, not being able to ever see them alive would be the worst feeling any parent would have to bear in his or her lifetime.

One of my former classmates from Grade school is going through this right now. He lost his son and to make matters worse,he wasn't able to be around for his funeral.

The indescribable feeling of loss was best pictured by another former classmate, Sonny Hernandez, when he pointed out that we had terms for a husband who loses his wife (widower),or for a wife whose husband dies (widow.) A kid who loses his parents is called an orphan.

But a parent who loses a child...there are no words to describe this...just a s no words will probably be able to describe the loss.

TED'S FRIENDSTER VIDEO

The video i produced showing my ka-Friendsters...to the tune of James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend"

The View from my Window: Father and Son

This morning as I watched the students of Lourdes school being accompanied by their parents to the gate, I noticed this dad and his kid in particular because from the way dad behaved you could tell his kid was special!

For one, he was lugging the kid's trolley bag even though I thought the boy was big enough to do it on his own. While they were walking towards the gate he was talking to him as if going through a checklist of things. I could just see it now:"Oh, do you have your handkerchief?Your assignment was it done na?"...and so on.

When they finally reached the gate,doting dad didn't just kiss son goodbye and saw him off. He bent down,cupped his son's face, said some words before kissing him. Then...and this is what got me...he lingered for a while making sure his son was safely in. Then as if this was not enough he went behind the sign on the gate and spent some seconds playing peek-a-boo with his son before waving goodbye.

He hurried back and luckily he did, because some traffic aides on patrol were looking his car over because he seemed to be blocking traffic. After some explanation he was let off.

It was a great sight because it's something I did when TJ and James were still small(although not as mushy as doting dad). I kind of miss this but am also thankful that I also gave my own sons some memorable mornings by going through these rituals.

The SWAN and a NatGeo special on Wolves

TJ and I watched a portion of the SWAN finals last Saturday. We were really amazed at what cosmetic surgery can do to transform these once Ugly Ducklings to jaw dropping bombshells! What I noticed though was that those with really good features to start with really looked good after their treatments and with very little alterations too.

It was also sad to note that those who were blessed with good looks to begin with didn't really take good care of themselves...especially their self-esteem...hence their deterioration into Ugly Ducklings.

I also managed to catch a feature by NatGeo on wolves. One interesting scene showed a pack of wolves that had trapped a male elk. The narrator said that strangely enough if elk didn't run their chances of surviving increased and I could see why. Although the wolves had their prey cornered they couldn't get near it because one swipe of the antlers could kill or maim them. If the elk had run it would just get tired and make easy pickings for the wolves.

Another scene showed some elk actually prancing confidently even if the wolves were near. It was sort of a risky bluff to the wolves,showing them that they could outrun them if they dared chase them. Unfortunately for one, the wolves called the bluff and dragged her down.

Wolves and bears,it turns out, are mortal enemies too. There was a scene were a mother bear and her cub were surrounded by a pack. The wolves kept a safe distance because the bear could easily break their backs with its claws. However,mama bear couldn't distance itself too far from its cub so it just fended off the wolves until they realized they were going nowhere and gave up.

LIVING WITH ONE'S LIMITATIONS

I just got my lab test results. The 2-D Echo and Holter Monitor results validate that there is something definitely wrong with my heart. I have atrial fibrillation according to the Holter monitor findings and the echocardiogram said I have ventricular hypertrophy. I had to look these up in the internet to understand what was going on inside my body.

In a nutshell,my heart is beating irregularly and the danger with this,at least in my case, is that some blood may not be pumped out of the atrium. This blood may coagulate and form clots which if dislodged may be transported to the brain and cause what is known as an embolic stroke. One treatment for this is to give medication (warfarin aka Coumadin) that will help thin the blood so that clotting does not form.

Now as to why I had this condition in the first place I don't really know. I have engaged in regular exercise, I have controlled my intake of "bad-for-the-heart" food and I can say I am not under any form of stress, and yet this happened.

So I guess this is one of life's surprises for me!

It's just another one of those events that makes me realize my limitations and maybe challenges me to still live fully in spite of these.After all, I did not wish for this.

One positive thing has already come out of this...I got to review my basic anatomy and are more familiar with terms related to the heart's functions! I sort of understand what I'm up against...and as the GI Joe slogan goes..."Knowing is half the battle!"

I also know for sure that the Good Lord wants me to slow down and enjoy life! Thanks to my seminary training I realize I've been programmed to rush through life so as not to waste time.

Maybe this is the Lord's way of giving me a much needed break!

ON MENTAL TOUGHNESS AND ON SLOWING DOWN

I watched Tiger Woods win the WGC Invitational yesterday. He almost gave it away when he couldn't keep his lead in regulation play. But during the playoff with Stewart Cink,who battled him hole for hole,he showed why he was a champion. In the fourth playoff hole,he stuck his approach shot within 8 feet while Cink's went into the bunker. Given that opportunity Tiger sunk the birdie putt for the win. Cink had his chance in the previous hole but didn't capitalize on it...therein lay the difference. Both were under a lot of pressure but I guess Tiger handled it better...was mentally tougher than Stewart...that's why he came out on top...for the fourth straight time!

Now that I have this nagging problem of an irregular heartbeat I realized once again that perhaps the Good Lord wants me to slow down some more.Maybe enjoy life a little bit more in the process. After all, I did my best in trying to stay healthy & yet my genetics seems to have acted up in the process.

This is just another obstacle I have to work around.

THE GRASS IS GREENER IN OUR BACKYARD

These past two weeks,I had the chance to visit two of the Philippines'famous resorts:Dos Palmas and Pearl Farm.

We went to Dos Palmas when it was raining so we didn't get to see many of its attractions like the schools of fishes and colorful corral reefs that one would normally see if the water is clear. We had a delicious lunch at the Isla Puting Buhangin, about 15 minutes by ferry boat from Dos Palmas and in spite of the rain we still marvelled at the beauty of the place.

We had better luck when we went to Pearl Farm. The weather was perfect so that when we docked at the wharf you could see fish swimming in the clear waters along the shore. We visited the island of the Floreindo's and checked out the villas which were being rented out to tourists. If I had the money and the time to waste this would be an idyllic place to do it. It was so peaceful..and restful.

No wonder many foreign tourists who have heard about these places...and do have the money,come over to our country!

It is unfortunate that many who live in our country can't even afford to see such sights which are right in our own backyard!